Camp Classics: Star Wars Holiday Special or Fighting the Frizzies at 11

Ok this has to be the best example or camp gone way to far. What do you get when you take a helping of Star Wars, throw in the 70's love for variety shows, add a healthy sprinkling of Carrie Fisher being high as a kite, Bea Arthur, JeffersonStarship and Life Day? Well I really never wondered.............. But I found the answer, the campiest thing ever to grace the television screen. Now two drags queens dressed as Cher in a catfight over who gets to dress up as Liza next, are no where near as off kilter as this piece of work.

The story does introduce us to Chewbacca's family. He has a wife and a kid if you can imagine that. The poor family has to wait for their "Life Day" celebration (apparently the Star Wars far far away version of Christmas that everybody seems to celebrate) while Chewie is out there with Hans Solo fighting for there freedom from the Empire! Are we supposed to feel bad that this poor whiny Wookie might have to wait a little? It is sort of hard to listen feel sympathy for the actors when they speek in Wookie, hard to really express the pain his wife feels! His family was so worried they placed a call to Luke Sywalker (Mark Hamil had way to much makeup on here he looks a little too Jane Skywalker he me) to get reasurance that Chewie would be okay. Next in one of the craziest scenes Chewie's wife decides to watch a cooking show to help with her life day feast (Harvey Korman as Gormaanda, Star Wars answer to Julia Child, a overly excited drag queen). Now that makes a lot of scense to me, I am super worried that my husband wont make it home for Life Day...... So let's watch a cooking show......... Some odd guy then drops buy and gives Chewies dad some weird almost pornographic hologram (Could I even make this up?).

Up next on the crazy parade a very high looking Princess Leia calls the Chewbacca family to talk to Han or Chewie (and wow is she a Biatch and a half to Chewie's wife) and dismisses the poor girl as she tries to bark her heart out (I don't want to tie up the line!). Then we strangely segway into some Holographic Jefferson Starship number (did Carrie Fisher while she was high on coke right this thing?) Next up is some weird cartoon number (even the animated Carrie Fischer looks high) that has one redemming quality, it introduces Boba Fett. Then the wookie kid is watching an intergalactic  informercial, wich leads into a live broadcast from Bea Arthurs cantina

 

Bea as a barkeeper, OMG. I don't even have the words to describe this. Bea comes across as a pantomime actor (a man in drag). Poor woman is just trying to run a bar when the Empire comes on tv and tells everyone that they are under curfew because of rebel activity. Her rowdy customers don't listen to her and she has to channel her future Dorothy Zbornack character to try to get people to leave. She has to give them one more round and sing a catana inspired song to calm everyone down (why did she sing, was she trying,   to make everypne leave without the round she bought?) Somehow Chewie finally makes it home, so they all go see the high Carrie Fischer sing over the Star Wars theme, then they finally get down to Life Day dinner........ OMG, thanfully it is finally over. Wow, I know that George Lucas had nothing to do with this but, he did let CBS do this. And the fact that they got the actors to do this (OK Carrie did need some drug money but the others.............?) and Bea? What were you thinking? The only redemable thing in this is the vintage commercials that are still left in on the bootleg copies. A news report on fighting the frizzies at 11, that is something to stay up for (and if you ever wondered what that weird segway in South Park's Mr. Hanky episode is..... here it is kids!)

Reasons to watch? You have absolutely nothing to do for that point in time, or like me wondered "Could it really be that bad?", or you are waiting for the far more interesting news report on after. Reasons to run? Way too many to list did you not read the article? Run for your life!!!!!!!

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